Abstract and Landscape
it’s 5 AM, And all is right with the world. We Celebrated Father’s Day dinner the night before so we could sleep in, and the house is vibrating with the sounds of soft snoring. My furry gray and orange foot-warmers are sleeping at my feet, and the rain outside is the perfect White noise machine.… Continue reading What Part of the Word Chronic Don’t You Understand, Mom?
I’d read the same paragraph about neuroplasticity three times and been unable to remember what the major point when I made the decision to kill off a part of myself. I did it with a tiny little pill. It will be a drawn out death, but it’s not a murder. It’s self-defense. For as long… Continue reading Spring Cleaning
Back in December, I made a deal with Thing1 that I would quit drinking Diet Coke. We were both worried about some new habits he’d picked up at college and decided to conquer our separate vices in solidarity. The bargain worked out well for both of us, but, when I slipped in the middle of… Continue reading Wages of Salt
When school ended, I thought I would be abuzz with creativity. I was expecting a summer of discovery after a winter and spring spent coming to terms with my own chronic illness. What started to happen was a buzz of mindless activity. It was as if I was afraid to be still with my own… Continue reading Who are You?
In the end, it’s the not just the content of the racing thoughts that drive people to a swallow that bottle of pills – I think it’s a desperate to escape the noise inside your brain. I realized that a few weeks ago as I got out of bed just past midnight and padded to my office.… Continue reading Hot Mess, Cool Brain
When Thing1 was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis six years ago, his doctor told us, “This is a permanent diagnosis.” We thought we understood what that meant, but even after a year of unsuccessful treatment and the discovery that he would have to have surgery — not to cure but to manage his illness – we… Continue reading Navigating by Stars
I’m starting to get used to the vertigo now. It’s been going on for all day for the last month, and it’s hard to remember a time when the world hasn’t seemed like I’m watching it from inside a dryer. Chronic illness is nothing new around our house, and Thing1 set a really high bar… Continue reading Tumbled
For the last few months, my life has felt more chaotic than one of my over-used palettes. For I’ve struggled to hold a brush or stay awake after work long enough to fire off even the tiniest of posts. For a while I thought that grief over the quarter million Covid-19 fatalities just in the… Continue reading Creative Voting
Pneumonia benched me well before Covid-19 invaded neighboring New York State, but my son’s severely compromised immune function was already forcing considerations about whether and how to keep working at the residential school where I teach. Our school immediately implemented Herculean measures to reduce the likelihood of infection. The experiences of other assisted living communities… Continue reading Drawing Lots
It started with a writing prompt a few days ago. Write a scene with no more than four characters that happens in one room. It was a good assignment, but at first it took me to some very dark places before I remember I was in control of this story. I don’t have to go… Continue reading Don’t Go There
Rearrangements Thing1 returned home from college today, saddled with the knowledge that he won’t be going back until September. He’s in the same boat as millions of other college kids around the country who are rearranging their futures right now. Thing1 has spent the past few years rearranging his future thanks to his chronic illness,… Continue reading Rearranging Life
It’s my second week of being bed or chair-bound as my foot recovers from a total overhaul. It’s been really inconvenient, but, ironically, it’s give me a chance to take a different kind of walk with one of the best people I know. This time last year I was still writing mostly about Thing1’s journey… Continue reading Walk With Me
Rachel Barlow Art 