Belated Happy St. Patty’s Day from the Institute of Meditative Hugging
Cartoons
The Scariest Words
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Hoga Melt
In honor of the first day above freezing 2015, I’m rolling out a new HOGA pose because, let’s face it, you really need it on a Wednesday:
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T’is the Season
I don’t like to repost things, but it’s March 1rst, there’s a few inches of fresh snow on the way to cover up the few feet that are already out there, and I really needed to satisfy my quest for something really dirty. That’s right, it’s seed catalog time.
So what spring flings are you dreaming about?
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You Actually Can Put a Price on it
The Big Guy had volunteered to pickup a package of our favorite British sausage from the deli in nearby Shushan, NY for dinner.
Even if I hadn’t had to work late, I would have given the go ahead for the purchase. It’s $8.95 per pound, and stew makings which would be cheaper, but our deli favorite was made with a secret ingredient that only a few other foods contain.
Eight-year-old Thing2 came into my study as soon as the clock struck five and announced he was STARVING. This is a nightly ritual, but STARVING can mean different things on different nights.
If, for example, we are serving a home made spaghetti sauce over organic, non-GMO pasta, Thing2’s appetite will disappear until dessert. Other nights, meat and potatoes nights for example, Thing2 will lick the plate clean through 2 servings and then ask for dessert. Fourteen-year-old Thing1’s appetite isn’t quite as schizophrenic, it just goes to greater extremes. Cheese shrivels his normally monstrous appetite. Certain casseroles cause us to apply for a second mortgage to cover the cost of dinner and a commitment hearing for whichever parent claims they are still sane at the end of dinner.
Every once in a great while, there are the miracle dinners. There are the meals, like our favorite British sausage with mashed potatoes, that vanish as soon as the steam clears the top of the potato pot. These are the nights there are no arguments, no tears (from kids or parents), and no leftovers.
I think the secret ingredient in the deli sausage is sanity, which, apparently you can buy for $8.95 a pound.
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Winter HOGA
1. Fill Giant Mug with three parts chocolate and one part milk (milk is optional).
2. Heat mug until chocolate is in liquid form.
3. Add marshmallows and cinnamon as desired.
4. Stand facing HOGA partner on opposite sides of mug. (If practicing pose alone, prepare to hug mug with arms or hands depending on size of mug).
5. Wrap body around mug. If mug is too small to accommodate full body HOGA, prepare second mug and wrap arms around partner.
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If Cats Dieted
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Weekend HOGA – Family style
So, apparently, I’m not the only person who believes in Meditative Hug Therapy. About 900 people on Facebook and Picking My Battles clicked and shared and, hopefully, practiced a little HOGA with a smile.
Thing2 was really excited – it’s his firm belief that any negative situation can be remedied, or at least tolerated with an eye-popping hug. We have set some ground rules for him – the hug-ee must be a willing victim.. uh.. participant, unless it’s a family member, in which case there are no rules.
The only time that causes a conflict is when eight-year-old Thing2 is ready for Weekend HOGA. The Big Guy likes to sleep late. I like to sleep later than normal too. But our idea of normal and Thing2’s (who believes sleeping past sun rise is too much sleep) are entirely different things.
So here at the Institute for Meditative Hug Therapy, we have come up with a routine that makes Weekend HOGA an uplifting experience for everyone (it gets everyone in this house out of bed):
The hugger stands at the foot of his or her parents bed. If the time alarm clock on either side of the bed starts with a 6, it is recommended the hugger slides onto the bed quietly, wedging himself between said parents. If it is later in the morning, the hugger can leap into hugging position, since parents may need to get up for a few minutes at this hour anyway.
Once in hugging position, it is recommended the hugger begin hugging one parent at a time, gently putting the elbow in the other parent’s face as he administers hug therapy to both parents. Well-hugged parents should begin to respond to therapy after accidental bumps to their bladders.
The hugger should continue applying hug therapy with a thorough inspection of each parent’s face until at least one parent is ready to hug back or lift themselves out of bed and make breakfast already.
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In Case You’re Wondering
HOGA really is a thing. Hugging Yoga has been around for a while, maybe decades, and it’s known to cure all kinds of well-known problems like too much cleaning, worrying about paychecks, and just being kinda down. Possibly the best part of HOGA is that it takes just a few seconds to master and achieve the ultimate hugging status of being a HOGI.
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Do I Offend?
We are All Charlie
I have no illusions about my own courage. I have none.
But today I have the unmitigated gall to say, “Je suis Charlie” not because I’ve discovered a well of courage that would let me post something truly provocative (if I had the abilty to do so). I say it in solidarity with and support of the great artists and writers who do make us stop and stare and gasp in disgust in dismay. I say it because to stop those who would take out a magazine staff for the crime of making a cartoon, we all need to say it.
We all need to say, “This is not the world we want.”
I let fear of failure or fear of inadequacy govern too much of my life. But these are fears I manufacture, and I will be damned if any voices outside my head tell me what I can and can’t create. I say Je Suis Charlie because I believe in a world where the only limitations on our thoughts and speech are the ones created by ourselves -not by some nameless masked maniac who thinks they have a sole monopoly on virtue or truth.
I don’t know if I’d have the courage to die for that belief, but reading more about the fears the editors and authors of Charlie Hedbo had to face every day just to go to work, I am willing to work to find the fortitude to live up to it.
#jesuischarlie
Picking My Battles 