Abstract and Landscape
Clearing I’d read the same paragraph about neuroplasticity three times and been unable to remember what the major point when I made the decision to kill off a part of myself. I did it with a tiny little pill. It will be a drawn out death, but it’s not a murder. It’s self-defense. For as… Continue reading Spring Cleaning
how do i explain to her that it doesn’t get better that it will smother then soothe and drown her until battered but still unbound, she no longer fears the undertow because, learning to float, she will be better
It’s my second week of being bed or chair-bound as my foot recovers from a total overhaul. It’s been really inconvenient, but, ironically, it’s give me a chance to take a different kind of walk with one of the best people I know. This time last year I was still writing mostly about Thing1’s journey… Continue reading Walk With Me
The girl had received bad news for the umpteenth time in the last few months. Her sobs of despair reverberated down the hall as she asked the powers that be, “What’s the point?” “You’re the point!“ The cosmos answered in the form of a lanky young man charged with keeping order the school. “People like… Continue reading Better than Before
It’s 2 am and Jim-Bob is trying to decide if his lumpy human will be still long enough for him to pad a nice tummy wallow to sleep on . I’ve tossed, turned, shut off my screen and turned it back on half a dozen times since I first crawled into bed for some desperately… Continue reading A Little Night Mania
Even shielded from news most of the day because of the internet ban at work, it’s impossible to avoid all awareness of an earth-turned-inferno and humanity’s own seeming desire to immolate itself in war. Sometimes it’s hard not to wonder, “What’s the point?” But the minute I start asking that question, I know it’s not… Continue reading It’s Not Them
Friday night, after a great day at school, I drove home determined to write or paint something. I had gone to bed early each of the previous two nights, and I wanted to make the most of a non-school night. Friday, however, was about to be another part of a nagging pattern. I got home… Continue reading Bodysurfing
Under the heading of "she's kind of funny girl", I decided to blow sunshine up on Etsy. And there is a funny thing about my new mantra. Each time I feel frustrated or down, it gets easier and easier to start blowing sunshine into my life. It appears to be pretty good source of renewable… Continue reading Sunshine on Etsy
Even after 49 years, I can still take surprisingly long time to recognize when a manic episode is starting. It's not telling every person in town I’ll be happy to come over and answer that computer question after work or even right now. It's not acceding to all of Thing1’s needs and wants for college… Continue reading Flying in Formation
When we heard that Robin Williams had committed suicide, I hoped we would google it and learn it was just a new, creepy urban legend. But it wasn’t. We were mostly without internet at the time, so I just caught snippets of reactions from the electronic consciousness. One snippet seemed to echo frequently. It was… Continue reading How I Explain It
A few weeks ago, my frustration with a writer's block born of the down side of my Bipolar life led me to write about it. It was the first time in my life I had ever written about it overtly. Not knowing how it would be received, I purposely picked a post day when I… Continue reading What This Blog Is
Rachel Barlow Art 